I found the following questions and answers here and I had to laugh so hard it almost made me pee my pants. These questions about Australia were posted on an Australian Tourism website. Obviously the answers came from fellow Aussies…..just trying to help:

Q: Does it ever get windy in Australia? I have never seen it rain on TV, so how do the plants grow? (UK)
A: We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around watching them die.

Q: Will I be able to see kangaroos in the street? (USA)
A: Depends how much you’ve been drinking.

Q: I want to walk from Perth to Sydney - can I follow the railroad tracks? (Sweden)
A: Sure, it’s only three thousand miles, take lots of water…

Q: Are there any ATMs (cash machines) in Australia? Can you send me a list of them in Brisbane, Cairns, Townsville and Hervey Bay? (UK)
A: What did your last slave die of?

Q: Can you give me some information about hippo racing in Australia? (USA)
A: A-fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe. Aus-tra-lia is that big island in the middle of the Pacific which does not… oh forget it. Sure, the hippo racing is every Tuesday night in Kings Cross. Come naked. Read the rest of this entry »

Your ad could be here, right now.

Every now and then my friends forward some funny emails to me. Today I received an email with a link to a hilarious video. It is only a short one (38 seconds) so it won’t take up much of your time. It will almost make you pee your pants or in the worse case scenario put at least a smile on your face. Enjoy your weekend!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rP7tVydBz60

For the peeps who look through the lonely hearts ads to search for true love or just a good night out here’s some help in translating those ads.

Adventurous = Likes anal
Athletic = No tits
30 something = 41 years old
Fun = Annoying
Wild = Gets pissed easily
Beautiful face = Face like a robber’s dog
Seeks knight in shining armour = Husband has run off with a younger model
New Age = Hairy and smelly
Headstrong = Argumentative
Enjoys pubbing & clubbing = Alcoholic
Curvy = fat
Cuddly = fat
Likes eating out = Lazy and fat